Marriage - Decisions and Transitions

 Hey y'all and welcome back to the Kunzler Kronicles! This weeks blog will be about marriage, specifically about common problems and occurrences in that can happen in the beginning of marriage! but before we get into marriage there is something that comes first. Last week we talked about dating. Quick recap, when you are dating you are looking for different qualities that you would like to have in a partner, more than must physical attributes and qualities you would want to look for the way they react in different situations and how they as a person work. So after you are dating then you move into courtship. Courtship is exclusively dating one person and having more dates and experiences with them. Then the next stage of a relationship after courtship is engagement.

Now engagements in and of themselves have changed a little bit in recent years, and more so has the steps up to engagement. Engagements and most especially proposals, have changed in the past 30 to 50 years. Typically it used to go that a man would be courting a women and be far into the courtship process, and then he would go buy a ring that he thought she would like. Then plan a way to propose and then go and do it. Usually it would be the whole cutesy way of getting down one one or both knees and pull out the ring.  this is very similar to how a knighting would take place. When someone would get knighted they would go down on a knee (a submissive and humble gesture) and the person knighting them would have a position of 'power' or decisiveness over the other similar to how a woman may have on a man when he asks for her hand in marriage. Now they girl may have an idea that they were getting close to maybe an engagement and be moving in that direction but generally they weren't sure when that would happen. Today couples spend more time talking about maybe getting engaged and married before they guy goes and proposes. another common trend is that couples go ring shopping and even pick a ring out before the proposal happens. Men used to give their all to prepare for a proposal and now it seems to be going more towards the sitting on the couch and saying "hey, you wanna get married?" trend.

Important information. When planning a wedding, you couples need to plan it together! What has become a trend is that they man just says "whatever you want babe" to the questions their fiancé asks them. Also what is common is that the girl has started to or already planned out their entire wedding and what they want since around the age of 12. It is so vital that you plan together because this is a way for you and your spouse to to learn how to problem solve, budget, compromise, work through problems, figure out how to work with the others family, be able to bond, and to have a wedding and or reception that you both will enjoy. So plan together! Also, just so you know, in 2021 the average American wedding was 28,000 dollars. That's lowkey scary. Honestly though, don't fear or sweat it, there are plenty of ways you can keep a good budget on having a cheap wedding where people can be really simple, easy and lots of fun! (message me/comment below if you would like to find ways of doing that!)

So you live together, now what? After you are married there are a lot of things that you will need to get used to. Things like where do you put the stuff you brought, what are you going to do about finances, foods, mixing yours and their habits and preferences, sharing a room, what is thermostat going to be, and even how the toilet paper is supposed to go on the roll. There will even be ways that you are "incompatible." As a couple you will need to learn to navigate these differences and work together to become one. Once you have kids your time will not only be split between the two of you, you will have the responsibility to care for another person who is entirely dependent on what you bring to the table in your family relationships.

once again, than k you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts on any of these topics mentioned. This blog is too short for me to be able to share al my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and what I have learned through research and discussion. So please comment and as questions below!